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[rathercommon]

crystal | letter | cease and desist notices slipped under her door | action

Comments

[rathercommon]

I said that people never do what you want them to - that you can never actually really help someone, because they'll just do what they will. You said that depends on where you and Thranduil end up, but I say that it doesn't. That at the end of the day, people will just do what they want.

[elegiaque]

( eventually— )

I think we're talking about different things again. Unless you've abruptly changed your mind in the course of this conversation and now it isn't important to ever do the right thing because helping people is pointless.

[rathercommon]

[ Firmly: ] Helping individuals is pointless. Staking your happiness on their choices will just frustrate you. You can help people - by breaking down the institutions that stand in their way, by creating more justice in the world - but it doesn't make sense to try to help individual people.

[elegiaque]

The only purpose to creating more justice in the world is improving it for the individuals that I care about.

( equally firmly. )

That is helping individual people. That's why it matters where we stand at the end of this; what resources do we have, what allies has Thranduil made because fuck knows I won't have done, what's still standing? What can we have conveniently lessened the influence of in the meantime? Who's going to listen? Who do we know won't? We're not talking about doing different things.

It's just different reasons. 'Ideals'. If an ideal doesn't serve me, why should I serve it?

[rathercommon]

[ It's like they're speaking different languages. ]

Because it's the right thing to do. Because if you're only fighting for yourself, and for the people around you, it's hideously easy for your intentions to get twisted into something truly wicked.

[elegiaque]

( seems fair. gwenaëlle's answer is a verbal shrug— )

Well, it's a good thing my intentions aren't the only ones that matter, then, isn't it?

[rathercommon]

[ A noise of frustration - ]

Gwen, you can't - not care about that.

[elegiaque]

I care that it's important to you.

( which—could be condescending, but that doesn't seem to be her tone. kitty cares about this, and gwenaëlle cares about kitty; kitty also cares about people being honest. about hypocrisy.

so she's being honest. this is what she cares about, this much and this far. it can be productive, but it'll never be selfless. )

[rathercommon]

[ And, with a sigh, Kitty guesses at the wrong interpretation - which is perhaps excusable, since I care that it's important to you are words that have never been spoken to her before. It's a sentiment that has never been issued to her before. No one has ever once given a solitary shit about what she cares about. ]

You're mocking me.

[elegiaque]

Oh, fuck off with that, you and fucking Adalia both.

( it's immediate, exasperated reflex, perhaps worsened by the fact that this is a road she's tread before, and recently— )

Yes, obviously. I've spent all this time and energy trying to understand what you're talking about and explain myself because I have absolutely nothing better to do in my life than...I don't even know what the fuck punchline this is supposed to have. Isn't it funny that your thoughts matter to me? Clever joke! I'm so glad that Miss How Dare You Insult Me thinks so little of me to conclude that everything I have to say and think is worthless mockery. Thank you for that.

Oh, but you at least had the consideration to wait until we were speaking privately to insult me. Well done.

[rathercommon]

What?

[ That's unexpected enough that she really takes notice. ]

I - no. I didn't mean -

I'm not exactly someone people listen to. That's all.

[elegiaque]

Did you miss the entire part of this conversation that was all of this conversation where I was listening to you?

[rathercommon]

Well, yes, but...

[ A little noise of uncertainty. ]

You were being tolerant. Look, and it's different, listening to me versus...caring about something I care about. Especially since - you know - my beliefs are pretty absurd. Lots of people laugh at them. Nearly everyone.

[elegiaque]

I have never in my life been tolerant of anyone.

[rathercommon]

Now, that's obviously not true.

[elegiaque]

What's tolerant about going out of my way to discuss this matter with you? Arguably, my life would have been both easier and more pleasant not to have bothered. If all I meant to do was blandly tolerate something I'm indifferent to, I could have done that without paying you the slightest bit of attention and tolerated your holding some irrelevant opinion in beautiful, golden silence.

[rathercommon]

[ A noise of annoyance - ]

Fine. All right. I take it back. You care, for whatever reason.

[elegiaque]

( placidly: ) Thank you.

[rathercommon]

[ Which annoys her enough that she says - ]

Why do you care?

[elegiaque]

I have absolutely no idea.

( if she weren't already annoyed, she might have tried harder to rationalise that. )

Inexplicably, I consider you a friend.

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty's quiet a moment. ]

How long has that been true?

[elegiaque]

I would have stopped listening to you almost immediately if it hadn't felt worthwhile.

( she tunes a lot of people out. indeed, sometimes to her own detriment. )

[rathercommon]

So - what, you considered me a friend - like - immediately?

[elegiaque]

Well, no, but interesting. Intelligent, if prone to inexplicable tangents.

( is that kitty or just, her. )

I don't know, I don't think about these things that way. So specifically. On this day in the year 9:44 it occurred to me to consider you a friend, trumpets.

[rathercommon]

Oh.

[ She feels suddenly, intensely shy. She can feel her face getting hot with a blush, and thinks that she's very grateful that Gwen isn't able to see her. ]

Well, that's - erm - nice. Thank you.