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[rathercommon]

crystal | letter | cease and desist notices slipped under her door | action

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acshun

[exsecutus]

[A suitably short length of time after Grand Cleric Agathe is announced as dead--]

What happened?

[--back in Kirkwall, Nikos steps out from an alleyway or side passage, depending on where he finds Kitty. The shadows drop off from around him like a cloak. He's still wearing his actual cloak.

He doesn't try to stop here, wherever she's off to. Instead he falls into step beside her, brusque--but not entirely ill-tempered, and wearing less than his usual glare. He's just off the ship, so there's a smell of the sea still about him--and the ever-present smell of wine that hovers around him.]

[rathercommon]

I -

[ What happened. A bloody monkey broke in and destroyed the pamphlets. Is it any wonder she's been dodging talking to him? Or any of the others? I screwed it up, not because of a demon, not because of the wiles of a cunning enemy, but because I got outsmarted by a stupid animal.

Her step falters when he talks to her. She doesn't quite meet his eye - just shoots him a faltering, sidelong glance before staring down at her path once again. She thinks momentarily of playing coy, What happened with what?, so that she might dodge this question, but...

No. That's stupid. ]

I screwed it up.

[ Her voice is quiet. ]

So all of this - what you did - was all for nothing. [ And then, quieter still - ] Sorry.

[exsecutus]

I was hoping for something a little more descriptive. Instead I get shit for an answer.

[Because it's vague, and nothing more. Nikos should know. He's a champion at bad answers, short and bitter and monosyllabic, and any question or challenge is best chased with a dark look.]

You've heard the news.

[It's not exactly a question. He drives right into it anyways, carrying them along, clipping past the shit she'd given him. For now.]

[rathercommon]

Yeah.

[ A breath in. She squares her shoulders. ]

It went according to plan for you?

[exsecutus]

I gave you a packet of forged and encoded letters, intending for you to disperse them among the champions of Benedetta in Antiva, so that they would be implicated for Agathe's death, and weaken Benedetta's cause. Now Benedetta is better poised than ever before to take the vote.

That [with a subtext something like, you idiot] would be exactly contrary to the plan.

[Then again--]

I'd prefer that the entire Chantry destroy itself. The part that was successful may yet guarantee that.

[rathercommon]

[ She clenches her jaw, something hot and angry and frustrated welling up in her throat. But if she cries in front of Nikos, then she'll immediately go drown herself in the harbor, she decides. So for the sake of her survival she swallows it back. ]

I meant that you didn't get caught or anything. I know the other part didn't work out. I'm not an idiot.

[exsecutus]

[He snorts, and makes a dismissive gesture--a little cruel on its face, but he means it more like please, obviously, without coming right out and saying it. Obviously he doesn't work with idiots. Obviously he wouldn't have engaged the assistance of an idiot. Obviously she still fucked up, but obviously he's here, talking to her, and not blaming her, so that counts for rather a lot, and be happy with it.]

Nevarra is already in its own turmoil. The assassination of their grand cleric will double that chaos. The Chantry is full of vipers, all eager to blame one another, to use Agathe's death for their own purposes. The decision to continue with the Conclave before the body has even cooled will be met with critique. The investigation that is rumored to follow-- [An actual smile steals over Nikos' face, tight and darkly amused.] Since we cannot be blamed, the blame will be laid elsewhere, which will birth a new chaos.

It may end for the better.

[rathercommon]

[ Hesitantly: ]

You're sure they won't figure it out? Who did it?

[exsecutus]

We left them no reason or clue to suspect us. They'll be so busy tying themselves into fucking knots, in order to blame one another, that even if we had left behind a clue, they'd never make sense of it. If I'd mummified her corpse in an Inquisition banner, it would somehow be the fault of, I don't know. A renegade member of the Necropolis, looking to sow dissent between the Chantry and other factions of Thedas, out of some anger at non-Nevarran burial customs and their lack of sanctity.

It will not be figured out. We can bet on it, if you want. Got any gold?

[rathercommon]

[ She wrinkles her nose. But that little speech - and the sort-of joke - makes her feel a bit better. ]

Gambling is stupid.

[ Then, with a reluctant sigh, she admits - ]

It was - a monkey.

[exsecutus]

[Wait, what. He was ready to get on her about gambling. This is a new direction, and since it doesn't track back to any part of the conversation, he has to ask--]

What was a monkey.

[rathercommon]

The pamphlets.

[ She shoves her hands into her pockets and scowls at the ground. ]

Why they got lost.

[exsecutus]

[...yeah ok]

People have tried feeding me horseshit before. You've found a new angle. How is a monkey how the documents were lost?

[rathercommon]

[ She looks round at him and - with perhaps an excess of tartness - says - ]

What on earth would be the point of lying to you. Especially about something this stupid.

[ A furious sigh - ]

It was a monkey, a monkey that came through the window and took the pamphlets. I don't think it was even sent. I think it was actually, really, truly just some organ-grinder's loose monkey and it wanted to cause trouble. It even had a stupid little vest.

[exsecutus]

[Nikos' answer would be either snide or a snarl. Both options are cut off when Kitty does elaborate. He finds instead that he has nothing to say. Except--]

A vest.

[Even his expression is less than common, for him. Incredulous, confused. Not as stormy as usual.]

[rathercommon]

Yeah.

[ Even though it's ridiculous, absurd, she also can't help but get caught up in this absurd, laughable detail - ]

A little vest, like a person would wear.

[exsecutus]

[He should be annoyed. He is, a little. Not precisely at Kitty. He doesn't believe in fate, or destiny--can't believe it, in so many ways--so that's not what he's annoyed with, either. It's more directionless, and if he were feeling worse, Nikos would absolutely sharpen it into a weapon.

Instead, he stares forward. And he snorts.]

Sure. Why not.

[Maybe that's directed at the Maker, or something. Why not a monkey in a miniature ruin his plans? Sure.]

If the worst comes, perhaps we can blame it all on a monkey in a vest.

[rathercommon]

I'm not lying.

[ Though - he doesn't really sound like he's accusing her of lying. She just needs to get that out there. ]

[exsecutus]

[Dryly:] I hope not, because as I noted, it would be a shit lie.

[Like, very shit.]

I'm only glad Orlais' monkey population was domesticated and confined to its cities long ago, or else my part of this would have been at risk.

[rathercommon]

[ Is he laughing? Its bloody hard to tell. ]

Anyway. So. That's why it got screwed up. I mean, it might have been a demon. I guess. But I really don't think so.

[exsecutus]

[He's not not laughing. So that's close enough, really.]

Aren't you meant to be a demon anyways. Rifter. It would be a matter of hierarchy then. Not your fault that you lost out to a monkey, it was beyond your control. You were too low a rank.

[rathercommon]

Eurgh.

[ That's all she has to say to that. ]

Shouldn't you be more upset?

[exsecutus]

[His snort this time is more dismissive than amused.]

I promise you I am not happy about the fate of the letters, or the failure of that part of the plan. Are you asking me, to be angry?

[rathercommon]

I don't know. No.

[ Well. ]

Maybe.

[ Ugh. ]

It'd feel more honest.

[exsecutus]

Are you accusing me of lying now, in some way?