ic inbox

[rathercommon]

crystal | letter | cease and desist notices slipped under her door | action

Comments

[exsecutus]

[Nikos' mouth twists.]

We didn't give anything away. The chance to implicate Benedetta's supporters and weaken her claim? That has been lost, yes. [BY YOU but he doesn't tack that on; could but doesn't.] Unless your enemy, the Antivan street monkey, decides to make a dramatic and last-minute appearance at the Conclave.

There will be others that try to claim the assassination as their own work, or fix the blame on some group they want to see defamed and questioned. That is chaos. Because there will be no answer, in the end. The Chantry can eat itself. I don't give a shit. Do you?

[rathercommon]

I care about the people.

[ Her voice is quiet. ]

[exsecutus]

[Steady, in response--]

So do I. I care about their freedom. About eradicating systems that would oppress or deny freedom to anyone, for any reason.

[rathercommon]

Yeah.

[ She nods, steadfast. No question there. ]

But they oughtn't suffer to get it.

[exsecutus]

[He gives it a few seconds before he prompts--]

And? I don't disagree.

[rathercommon]

Chaos causes suffering.

[exsecutus]

Oh, so it's better that life remains the same?

[rathercommon]

There's more than two possibilities.

[exsecutus]

[Flatly:]

No. There isn't. Not in any way that matters.

[rathercommon]

How do you know?

[exsecutus]

Because I've done this before. On a smaller scale, with less prolific targets.

[Not mentioning the king, their first attempt to strike against something bigger than themselves--Caspar, perfect in the moonlight as they stood outside the palace, unafraid to die for what they had tried and failed, ready to be a martyr for their cause, and Nikos pale and terrified, grabbing at him, you can't, with bells ringing all around them, you can't--he thinks of it every time, though he'd never say it, not to Caspar or to anyone.]

There is chaos. That is where people must step in and find their place. Or it is where they see the ruse that they have believed all along.

You grew up without wealth, correct. Without power. When did you first figure it out?

[rathercommon]

I -

[ The question is both unexpected and deeply personal. So she falters a moment. ]

I always knew. On some level.

[exsecutus]

[He makes an impatient, dismissive gesture.]

Good. Then you're sharper than most. Or, if I'm inclined to feel charitable and fucking poetic--there is that same knowledge of that unfairness, buried deep in ever man. Most leave it buried, a choice made either consciously, unconsciously--it doesn't matter for the purpose of this question. Tell me when you decided to dig it out of yourself. If there was one moment, crystallized--if there were two moments, ten, fourteen, which all led to the realization, when was that realization.

[rathercommon]

A magician hurt me and my friend.

[ She fidgets, uncomfortable. Her voice is quiet. ]

Cast a Black Tumbler on us for - we were playing a game, and damaged his property, so he did it. And so I took him to court, and they called me a liar and fined me six hundred pounds and all the while kissed their own arses about how grand and fair their laws were.

[exsecutus]

[He nods, tightly. Yes.]

Motherfuckers.

[Quiet, but vitriolic. It doesn't matter if he knows them, if he walked into a courtroom and paid a fine for that same crime. It's shit, always.]

It's the same story, played differently. And you were not calm, afterward. Perhaps you did not go out and draw blood that same night, after the fine had been paid, but you were at least angry.

[rathercommon]

I had someone come after me - a man. Mr Pennyfeather. [ She pushes her hands into her pockets. ] He offered to pay the debt if I'd hear him out about his group. So I did. And I joined.

[ She's quiet a moment. ]

I was just a lookout for a while. For the first little while. But as time went on I did more. It took some time before the first time I - [ Hurt someone. Killed someone. ] But - Yeah. I was angry.

[exsecutus]

Anger is inspiration. It's necessary. As necessary as chaos, and I would never deprive anyone of either of them. I would never wring my hands over who else might contrive to use for their ends.

Because if the anger is strong enough, righteous enough, no one will use it but the man who holds it. He will be awake, and he will be enraged. And if anyone does manage to use him, let them have their throats cut next.

[rathercommon]

I got used.

[ That's not a happy fact. But nor is she ashamed. She looks at Nikos, mouth tight. ]

[exsecutus]

[He meets her gaze, steadily.]

And yet you're here.

[rathercommon]

[ She scoffs. ]

What - In Thedas? What's that got to do with anything?

[exsecutus]

[Nikos rolls his eyes.]

Because secretly, I believe in fate. [NOT.] And yet you're here, by which I mean you are speaking with me, about revolution, about true change, about taking risks for something worth believing in. Planning. Thinking. You weren't truly discouraged by getting taken.

That is what matters. That fucking perseverance. People will call it by many names. They will make you feel like shit for it. Fuck them all.

[rathercommon]

Oh. I...

[ She reminds herself of her earlier resolve to absolutely, positively not cry in front of Nikos. But she finds her face suddenly flushed and hot, and her eyesight gets all wet and wobbly, and it's not her fault that stupid Nikos suddenly decided to say something sweet. Because it is sweet, even spoken as it is, something she needed to hear years ago -

She ducks her head so he can't see. But stupidly, she betrays herself with a great wet sniff. ]

[exsecutus]

[He assumes nothing until the sniff--which is startling, despite Nikos' powers of observation, and loud enough that he actually looks over at Kitty. This is a mistake that he quickly corrects, and resolutely sets his gaze forward, steady.

Without looking around, he reaches for his flask. The first drink is his. So is the second. Then he shoves it, brusque, at Kitty, still without looking at her or slowing his steps. And without saying anything at all, too. The strong warm smell of rum wafts up from the flask's interior, a heady and scented cloud.]

[rathercommon]

I don't -

[ Well, actually, you know what? What the hell. She's never let alcohol past her lips before - she's seen too many people turned stupid and senseless by it, lulled into quiescence by its effects. But it's not like Nikos is actually really ever dulled by it. So maybe it's not as bad as she'd thought. And anything, anything, to take her mind off the stupid soppy feelings caused by his kind words.

So she takes it, and takes a tentative sip -

And chokes. ]

Oh, my God - Why!

[exsecutus]

[Despite the circumstances--or maybe because he's himself--Nikos smirks a little. He's still smirking when he reaches to take back the flask from Kitty.]

Something the matter?

[And he doesn't mean the crying. He's not going to talk about the crying.]