[ Maybe miraculously, Kitty's voice is practical and judgment-free. ]
That's true. But there's absolutely no harm in asking if they run into something new, right? I mean, if we all want to decide to get rid of the word purr and swap out vibrate in its place, then that's okay. But if they're going to run into it other places, it's probably worth learning. - It really is maddening when people act like you're a bad person for not knowing something, isn't it?
[This is something worth thinking about, longer than she has in the course of talking to someone else. She tucks a thorny mess of ideas--how much do others know that I do not, what do I know that they don't, how do people decide to say purr instead of vibrate, how do these things change--away for later consideration. For now, she hazards an answer to Kitty's question.]
Yeah. Especially since it's the ones who get judgmental who are the ones who decide what information is worth knowing. Even though there's plenty of stuff worth knowing that they don't know.
You know - how to brew a proper cup of tea, how to throw a pot, how to keep a proper balanced ledger, how to organize files, how to clean. How to be a decent person. How to pick a pocket or pick a lock. How to scrap properly. Lots of stuff.
[ She goes through the list silently, considering the options. The crossover between what they don't know and what she doesn't is greater than she'd like, considering she isn't part of Kitty's them. ]
[She has to think about this before she can speak. I do not wish to answer is the easiest thing to say, the one she has said before, but--some part of her wishes to try to answer, if only to make things clearer.
Kitty might not be a nice person, but there's a kind of certainty about the things she says that makes Laura want to make her understand. Why anyone stuck their neck out to keep you from getting dragged away--this is why, she wants to say. This is why I killed people. This is why I am here. Then, when Kitty says something about Laura in the future, to Laura herself or to others, perhaps it will not be angry. Perhaps it will just be certain.
But wanting to explain does not make the words come out easily.]
They gave them to me.
[Part of Kitty's them, is her thought--surely Reis is them, the people who think they know what is best even when it isn't.]
[ And Kitty draws in breath to ask who, and then - Well, then she gets it. And she feels a sudden wash of shame. Because it's not hard to draw the line from they to the incident where they tried to take her away. Which Kitty was really, hideously nasty about. What if someone had said to her that - Well, no. When she'd been arrested, no one stuck their neck out to help her at all. But if there had been someone, and then someone had sneered at her about oh who can even fathom why anyone would have done that for you, and made fun, Kitty would hate them. Hate them forever. But Laura'd dialed her up to ask if she wanted a kitten, and God, Kitty feels so ashamed that all she can say is - ]
Oh.
[ And her voice is really small and really wobbly, and it wobbles even more when she says - ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-02-15 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 05:33 pm (UTC)But other people might not.
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Date: 2020-02-15 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 05:37 pm (UTC)Everyone does not know these things.
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Date: 2020-02-15 05:44 pm (UTC)That's true. But there's absolutely no harm in asking if they run into something new, right? I mean, if we all want to decide to get rid of the word purr and swap out vibrate in its place, then that's okay. But if they're going to run into it other places, it's probably worth learning. - It really is maddening when people act like you're a bad person for not knowing something, isn't it?
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Date: 2020-02-15 09:43 pm (UTC)...Yes.
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:02 pm (UTC)Yeah. Especially since it's the ones who get judgmental who are the ones who decide what information is worth knowing. Even though there's plenty of stuff worth knowing that they don't know.
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:26 pm (UTC)You know - how to brew a proper cup of tea, how to throw a pot, how to keep a proper balanced ledger, how to organize files, how to clean. How to be a decent person. How to pick a pocket or pick a lock. How to scrap properly. Lots of stuff.
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:31 pm (UTC)[ She goes through the list silently, considering the options. The crossover between what they don't know and what she doesn't is greater than she'd like, considering she isn't part of Kitty's them. ]
I can pick locks. But not properly.
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:43 pm (UTC)[ A noise that sounds adjacent to a laugh. ]
No. I'm not actually a cat. Do you?
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:01 am (UTC)Really?
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:22 am (UTC)[ Erm - ]
Are you...human? [ Quickly: ] Sorry if that question's offensive. I don't know what all types of people there are in this world.
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:30 am (UTC)[The question isn't offensive, but the idea of trying to explain why she's a human with claws hasn't gotten easier. But she makes the attempt.]
Other humans do not have them, though.
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:39 am (UTC)Kitty might not be a nice person, but there's a kind of certainty about the things she says that makes Laura want to make her understand. Why anyone stuck their neck out to keep you from getting dragged away--this is why, she wants to say. This is why I killed people. This is why I am here. Then, when Kitty says something about Laura in the future, to Laura herself or to others, perhaps it will not be angry. Perhaps it will just be certain.
But wanting to explain does not make the words come out easily.]
They gave them to me.
[Part of Kitty's them, is her thought--surely Reis is them, the people who think they know what is best even when it isn't.]
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:56 am (UTC)Oh.
[ And her voice is really small and really wobbly, and it wobbles even more when she says - ]
Well, that's really good.
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