Yeah. Especially since it's the ones who get judgmental who are the ones who decide what information is worth knowing. Even though there's plenty of stuff worth knowing that they don't know.
You know - how to brew a proper cup of tea, how to throw a pot, how to keep a proper balanced ledger, how to organize files, how to clean. How to be a decent person. How to pick a pocket or pick a lock. How to scrap properly. Lots of stuff.
[ She goes through the list silently, considering the options. The crossover between what they don't know and what she doesn't is greater than she'd like, considering she isn't part of Kitty's them. ]
[She has to think about this before she can speak. I do not wish to answer is the easiest thing to say, the one she has said before, but--some part of her wishes to try to answer, if only to make things clearer.
Kitty might not be a nice person, but there's a kind of certainty about the things she says that makes Laura want to make her understand. Why anyone stuck their neck out to keep you from getting dragged away--this is why, she wants to say. This is why I killed people. This is why I am here. Then, when Kitty says something about Laura in the future, to Laura herself or to others, perhaps it will not be angry. Perhaps it will just be certain.
But wanting to explain does not make the words come out easily.]
They gave them to me.
[Part of Kitty's them, is her thought--surely Reis is them, the people who think they know what is best even when it isn't.]
[ And Kitty draws in breath to ask who, and then - Well, then she gets it. And she feels a sudden wash of shame. Because it's not hard to draw the line from they to the incident where they tried to take her away. Which Kitty was really, hideously nasty about. What if someone had said to her that - Well, no. When she'd been arrested, no one stuck their neck out to help her at all. But if there had been someone, and then someone had sneered at her about oh who can even fathom why anyone would have done that for you, and made fun, Kitty would hate them. Hate them forever. But Laura'd dialed her up to ask if she wanted a kitten, and God, Kitty feels so ashamed that all she can say is - ]
Oh.
[ And her voice is really small and really wobbly, and it wobbles even more when she says - ]
[She has explained this incorrectly; Kitty does not understand, and she sounds like she's getting further away from her crystal, or perhaps like she was punched, without the initial sound of it. The breath for no, not like that, they were not a gift won't budge from her chest, and she can't think of an explanation that will. It isn't something to talk about, even as it clearly isn't something that will stay buried, either.]
But they are mine now. [They weren't, but they are. Will that be enough? She can't know until Kitty answers. Her own voice has grown lower, the verbal equivalent of a defensive stance.] That is good.
[ She clears her throat, then, and takes a breath. More steadily: ]
I know. I know that they wouldn't have been...good. [ If they gave them, then they couldn't be. ] But it's good that you've got them know. That you can use them for yourself. That's what I meant.
I will show you. [Which is to say, Yes, I understand. She does not want to keep thinking of getting the claws right now, only having them.] But you must not be startled. I will not hurt you.
[So Laura goes to the library--among her own favourite haunts as well, she's seen Kitty in there often enough to have an idea where to look. (That it isn't overly large a space helps as well.) When she finds her at a table, she takes a seat across from her and waits to be addressed.
[ Kitty, sitting and reading a book, is initially too absorbed to notice Laura. So when she looks up and sees the girl sitting there, she jumps and gives a small squeak of surprise. She immediately tries to turn it into a cough, but the damage to her dignity is done. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:02 pm (UTC)Yeah. Especially since it's the ones who get judgmental who are the ones who decide what information is worth knowing. Even though there's plenty of stuff worth knowing that they don't know.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:26 pm (UTC)You know - how to brew a proper cup of tea, how to throw a pot, how to keep a proper balanced ledger, how to organize files, how to clean. How to be a decent person. How to pick a pocket or pick a lock. How to scrap properly. Lots of stuff.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:31 pm (UTC)[ She goes through the list silently, considering the options. The crossover between what they don't know and what she doesn't is greater than she'd like, considering she isn't part of Kitty's them. ]
I can pick locks. But not properly.
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-15 11:43 pm (UTC)[ A noise that sounds adjacent to a laugh. ]
No. I'm not actually a cat. Do you?
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Date: 2020-02-15 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:01 am (UTC)Really?
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:22 am (UTC)[ Erm - ]
Are you...human? [ Quickly: ] Sorry if that question's offensive. I don't know what all types of people there are in this world.
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:30 am (UTC)[The question isn't offensive, but the idea of trying to explain why she's a human with claws hasn't gotten easier. But she makes the attempt.]
Other humans do not have them, though.
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Date: 2020-02-16 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:39 am (UTC)Kitty might not be a nice person, but there's a kind of certainty about the things she says that makes Laura want to make her understand. Why anyone stuck their neck out to keep you from getting dragged away--this is why, she wants to say. This is why I killed people. This is why I am here. Then, when Kitty says something about Laura in the future, to Laura herself or to others, perhaps it will not be angry. Perhaps it will just be certain.
But wanting to explain does not make the words come out easily.]
They gave them to me.
[Part of Kitty's them, is her thought--surely Reis is them, the people who think they know what is best even when it isn't.]
no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 12:56 am (UTC)Oh.
[ And her voice is really small and really wobbly, and it wobbles even more when she says - ]
Well, that's really good.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 01:08 am (UTC)[She has explained this incorrectly; Kitty does not understand, and she sounds like she's getting further away from her crystal, or perhaps like she was punched, without the initial sound of it. The breath for no, not like that, they were not a gift won't budge from her chest, and she can't think of an explanation that will. It isn't something to talk about, even as it clearly isn't something that will stay buried, either.]
But they are mine now. [They weren't, but they are. Will that be enough? She can't know until Kitty answers. Her own voice has grown lower, the verbal equivalent of a defensive stance.] That is good.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 01:30 am (UTC)[ She clears her throat, then, and takes a breath. More steadily: ]
I know. I know that they wouldn't have been...good. [ If they gave them, then they couldn't be. ] But it's good that you've got them know. That you can use them for yourself. That's what I meant.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 01:52 am (UTC)[ And that much is quite true. ]
Where should we meet, then?
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Date: 2020-02-16 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-16 02:15 am (UTC)You know. Like normal people do.]
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Date: 2020-02-16 02:19 am (UTC)Erm - hi - hullo. You walk - quietly.
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