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[rathercommon]

crystal | letter | cease and desist notices slipped under her door | action

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[coquettish_trees]

[ a pause, and then Alexandrie settles back into place as well. Amusedly: ] What a good and relaxing afternoon we are having.

[rathercommon]

[ That startles a laugh out of Kitty - a rather rare sound. And, looking over with a smile, an expression that's only a little bit more common than the laugh - ]

I don't know. I'm enjoying myself.

[coquettish_trees]

Then perhaps we have both been faithful to our bargain, and the trip has been a success.

[ Alexandrie's mouth curves in an impish smile in return. ]

May I suggest that we have done quite enough thinking for the time being, and really ought to briefly enjoy being very clean and very nice smelling and soon having very lovely hands with which to eat some small pastries and lie upon couches and not worry at all about whether or not we are happy?

[ The corners of her smile curve up even farther, her eyes sparkling in amusement. ]

Worry not, we may return to dreadful sighing again in a few hours. The heaviness of the world is a patient creature and shall wait faithfully for us.

[rathercommon]

[ Another noise - not a full laugh this time, but a huff of amusement. ]

I suppose so. Well, I do like sweets.

[coquettish_trees]

[ emphatically, and emphasized further by the quiet splash of her hands on the water's surface: ] Good.

[rathercommon]

So d'you have something good you want to talk about, then?

[coquettish_trees]

[ She considers this briefly. ]

Tell me the silliest thing you can think of to be concerned about, and we shall speak on it as if it had all the import in the world.

[rathercommon]

[ What. ]

The silliest thing?

[coquettish_trees]

[ You heard her. ]

Precisely.

[rathercommon]

[ Uhhhhh - ]

I don't know. Fashion?

[coquettish_trees]

[ Alexandrie opens one eye to look over at Kitty without raising her head from where it is now relaxing against the little pillow on the tub wall, looking amused ]

Well that is hardly fair. Fashion does have all the import in the world.

[ Has she started? ]

Have you seen the helmets the Venatori wear? One would think if one were attempting to villainously end the world, one would attempt to look more imposing than a cheese grater dreaming of becoming a unicorn.

[ She's started. ]

[rathercommon]

[ Yes, she's definitely started. ]

I haven't, actually. I haven't left Kirkwall since I got here. So I've never met a Venatori.

[coquettish_trees]

Oh, nor have I; there are several such helmets about to be seen that have been brought in as example. I cannot imagine they look any better upon the actual men and women.

Perhaps they wear such ridiculous things so that their leader shall feel better about the state of his face. I have heard he has quite the complexion.

I do believe if half of my head were jagged chunks of Red Lyrium I too would attempt to remake the world.

[ she makes a 'bleeeech' face. ]

Tell me, what is the most hideous thing you have ever seen someone wear with pride?

[rathercommon]

[ Oh, Kitty has a ready answer here. ]

Tight pants, this great flapping black coat with a great big red handkerchief sticking out of the pocket and frilly bell-sleeves. Shiny black shoes. And hair that was cut short but hung long around the face that he didn't even wash very often so it was all heavy and greasy. Oh, he thought he looked very fine.

[coquettish_trees]

[ Alexandrie draws in a horrified gasp that comes from the very depths of her soul, pressing her hand to her chest. ]

Non! I cannot say I am always displeased by tight pants, but beneath an overlarge bell-sleeved coat? Maker preserve us, what color were the frills?

[rathercommon]

[ With a visible sneer - ]

White lace. And he had the audacity to describe himself to me as well turned-out.

[coquettish_trees]

[ Just the saddest noise. ]

I was hoping perhaps at the very least for red, to see minute effort to match shown in any conceivable way, but no.

Sacre merde, he would be well turned out. Of my home. Immediately.

[rathercommon]

[ With some satisfaction - ]

I did punch him in the face.

[coquettish_trees]

For his crimes against the eyes of all decent beings, no doubt?

[ then, with amusement: ] Tell me he bled. At least then he would have had a second source of red accent.

[rathercommon]

For - other stuff.

[ Like trying to arrest her. Like his abuses of the people. Like...Like turning her parents against her...But no, she did that herself, didn't she. Anyway. Whatever. She's over it. ]

But the fashion choices definitely didn't help. Anyway, unfortunately, I didn't manage to break his nose. When I say unfortunately, I mean unfortunately for him, since it only could have improved his stupid rat face.

[coquettish_trees]

Ah, no. Well, you are certainly to be lauded for your charitable attempt to help re-arrange the face of such an unfortunate existence.

[ Alexandrie chuckles, thinking of something. ]

Once, Madame du Marchand attempted to wear a live swan to a party as a hat.

[rathercommon]

I'm sorry - what?

[coquettish_trees]

Birds on hats were en vogue at that time, but everyone else had chosen songbirds.

[ Alexandrie rolls her eyes. ]

It made every event sound like a cheerful morning in an extremely populated forest. Not to say I was exempt, but I had a lovely pair of turtledoves who were fairly quiet.

Madame du Marchand, on the other hand, in an attempt to outclass everyone daringly, once wore a swan. Tied, like a hat, to her head.

[ She starts giggling. ]

She'd drugged it, or had a servant do it, and it was quite sweet asleep, but it woke up halfway through the evening.

[rathercommon]

[ Caught between amusement and utter dismay - ]

Oh, no. Oh, the poor thing.

[coquettish_trees]

[ innocently: ] I assume you mean the swan.

Worry not, it got its just vengeance. I can no longer say I have never seen a hat hiss and bite before. [ the giggling increases. ] It also got away with her wig.

For propriety's sake we all had to act as if nothing at all had happened, but I honestly nearly died in the process of doing so.

I suppose in a way she got her wish. It was certainly talked about.