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[rathercommon]

crystal | letter | cease and desist notices slipped under her door | action

Comments

[elegiaque]

I will make a note to say less.

[rathercommon]

Yeah, that wasn't the point of what I was saying. So clearly you're a horrible beast who doesn't care about me.

[elegiaque]

Glad we've cleared that up.

[rathercommon]

Oh my God. Stop being petulant. All I'm saying is try to make a little effort to pay attention to the person you're talking to. Check to see if they'll understand it. Weren't you just talking about stories? Every story's written for an audience, isn't it?

[elegiaque]

( it's extremely annoying when someone else has a point. )

Fine, I shouldn't have misjudged the interest of mine.

[rathercommon]

[ Through gritted teeth: ]

I've told you a dozen times if I've told you once. If you haven't heard it by now, you're the one with no interest in me. I'm a stupid commoner, raised to be stupid, kept stupid. Deliberately. I don't talk about this and I don't know how to talk about this. I don't know how many ways I need to explain that I'm just ignorant and pathetic. All right?

[elegiaque]

You're not either of those things. Uneducated isn't ignorant or pathetic, or stupid, it's just uneducated.

[rathercommon]

Yeah, well, thanks, but it's still what I am.

[ Her face is not. She blinks back tears of humiliation. A little of it comes through in her voice, choked and miserable. ]

All right? So give it a sweet little name, make excuses, but at the end of the day I just can't get it.

[elegiaque]

( after a long pause— )

I'm never going to have any time for the idea of your imaginary stupidity.

[rathercommon]

"Imaginary."

[ Her voice is bitter. It'd be mocking if it were less unhappy. ]

[elegiaque]

Someone told you that you're stupid and you let them convince you that it's true. You're free to believe that, if you insist, but as long as you continue not actually being an idiot, I'm personally going to have to decline to participate.

[rathercommon]

Yeah, except that I didn't get what you were saying, and apparently I ought to have done so much that you thought I was completely disinterested. Sounds like stupidity to me.

[elegiaque]

( begrudgingly: )

I could have been clearer and more focused on my point. Do you still want to hear it.

[rathercommon]

I don't -

[ She clenches her jaw, aware that all that might have come across - probably did come across - as manipulative. So she feels ashamed. But, even so - ]

Yes. Please.

[elegiaque]

No one wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves, today I'm going to act against my own best interests in a way that will potentially lead to my death and the deaths of many other people.

( a beat. )

Maybe the second part, some people are cunts. But people don't—they aren't just stupid, they have reasons. Everyone has a reason for what they do, even if it's wrong, or it doesn't seem to make any sense. The important part is understanding. What people care about. What drives them. Yes, telling a story is useful, but knowing stories is better. It's more important. It's necessary to anything on a larger scale, because no one has the fucking right to just walk in and not even examine who people are and decide that they know best for them and that they're just stupid if they don't understand it. We owe understanding to anyone we want to help, or it's not different.

[shri]

[ Though she doesn't, Lakshmi certainly does. Her eyes fixed on her, watching how she moves, shifts her body. Doesn't turn towards her, doesn't box her or force something upon her by way of little movements.

But she watches, with slow blinks, she watches. ]

Then their short-sightedness is their loss. But it will not be mine. I ask nothing from you, Kitty, I am not here for you to call me your Babaji, but I know... I know I never got to tell my own Devi, as often as I should, how I care for her. I will not make the same mistake, now.

[rathercommon]

[ She takes a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is a little throaty, but - better. ]

You can't know everyone's story, though. Sometimes you've got to just act.

[rathercommon]

[ Her hands clench together harder. But there's no real escalation in words, or in tone; her voice remains pinched, but grows no worse. ]

I don't need a mum. I've never needed one, really. When people have told me what to do and who to be, it's just held me back. I'm not going to take it from anyone ever again.

[ But it's not as harsh as it might be. It's not a rejection; it's just a warning. ]

[elegiaque]

That doesn't mean trying to understand isn't important or worthwhile. It's more important to do when you can, for the times you haven't time to spare. No one should be getting too comfortable with the idea they're too good to need to worry about the impact they have.

And, Maker knows, understanding won't always mean you can do anything differently. Sometimes it'll only mean you know how something is going to go badly, and can plan for the mess after.

[rathercommon]

Well - I don't disagree with any of that.

[elegiaque]

I didn't think you would.

[rathercommon]

But - sometimes - you also shouldn't accept the stories people tell about themselves.

[elegiaque]

Most of the time. ( like a verbal shrug. ) That's why it's hard. Understanding people is a lot more complex than just asking them questions. All you learn is how they answer questions; what they want you to think about them.

[shri]

I think I learned that well enough. That horse still deserves your apology, by the way.

[ When will she let it die? Never, apparently. But it isn't goading or demanding, it's laughing more than anything else. ]

But Kitty, you are a singular young woman, and you don't need me to tell you that, I am sure. [ She leans, near, her hand cupping against Kitty's cheek to turn her face towards her. Had to get this out now, or it will never happen. ] I will be glad, one day, to see what you will accomplish, and to let you know that whatever you need, you only need call for me. I will be there.

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty lets her face be turned, though with some discomfort. Indeed, there's discomfort on her face, still, in spite of these reassurances, in spite of Lakshmi's laughter. This is a wound that's deep - and fresh, too. ]

Then - That's what comrades do for one another. I'll accept it, if you'll accept it from me, too.