( there's another delay. gwenaëlle is so bewildered she doesn't know how to respond. finally, )
I don't.
( she starts to write I don't know how I wasn't clear, and then scratches it out. tries again. )
What I meant to say was that since you and he aren't going to work together and since it was the other ambassador
( not byerly, she means )
who he'd directed you towards and who is going to be able to do more anyway, if you are going to give them to anyone, she seems like the sensible choice. Ishal. I wasn't saying you have to tell her anything, I was offering you my opinion of who your best option would be if you did want to tell someone.
When I said I think you'll prove each other wrong, I meant by being good at what you do.
[ Somewhere, there's a noise of anger and frustration. The writing comes fast now: ]
This is absurd. I am likely going to end up imprisoned or worse so that I give out this information, and you speak of people that I might want to work with. 'Thranduil was stirring you up,' you say - have you ever considered the possibility, for just a single second, that it is actually you who is blind to the danger? I am not a little girl who is frightened of monsters under her bed. I have been fighting and killing and hiding for longer than you have. I have watched my comrades betrayed and slaughtered, torn to pieces, and I have been sentenced to death myself. So just once, for just a single moment, please just consider the idea that perhaps I am not a stupid little idiot but someone who knows something.
You came to me because I know him. If what I think was never going to matter because you're so much smarter and more experienced than I am, why did you bother? Why pretend it mattered? If all you wanted from me was to nod along and agree with you, you could have saved us all a great deal of time by saying so directly.
But as I was under the mistaken impression that occasionally what I have to say might be worth anything to you, I gave you my opinion. You engaged me in conversation so I gave it to you again. You aren't under any obligation to regard it, which I do not say to suggest that you need my permission when you've made it abundantly clear you never had any intention of considering that, but to make it clear I'm not saying it with the expectation that you owe me anything.
I've never thought you're an idiot. I don't have to think you're stupid to think you're wrong. I think Thranduil is wrong. I can think someone is mistaken and respect them. I am
( a delay. disappointed kitty can't?
what's the point in explaining herself to someone who has already decided what she is. )
[ A blot of ink where her pen rests. Then, quite jagged: ]
I did not want your advice. I wanted your help. I wanted you to help keep me safe. But I suppose that having Flint's approval is far more important than what I was asking.
( it's abrupt. she doesn't know if kitty will answer. she doesn't know how she feels about whether or not kitty will answer— )
Why couldn't you have just told me that?
( there's so much frustration. )
Come and stay with us. Thranduil is enormous and does magic and I have a guard dog and an assassin. Guilfoyle can be with you all of the time. I promise you, if that's what you need, that's what I'll do. I thought—
I was trying to fix it. I'm sorry. I didn't know what you wanted me to do. I can do this.
He has no good reason to. So— ( quickly, before kitty can get the wrong idea ) —if he does, if any of them do, I will be fucking disappointed in the betrayal of my trust and I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I don't handle disappointment very well and I can shoot the fade out of my fucking hand.
Come and stay with us until all of this is resolved, however it's resolved. I promise you I will not let anything happen to you.
( gwenaëlle has massive daddy issues that she doesn't know how to articulate?
she struggles, too, for a moment. 'friend' doesn't feel right, exactly. )
It's—avuncular. I've learned a lot from him, we talk about books and poetry and while he teaches me how to handle a sword. We do it a few times a week, most weeks—we've been using mine and Thranduil's bedroom, but while you're staying with us I won't have him there.
( she still trusts him, but kitty doesn't. it isn't any skin off gwenaëlle's nose to walk down the hall instead of having him come to her. )
He's taught me about sailing, and piracy, and politics. And I can finally challenge him a bit with the sword, but if he did turn on me it'd be an anchor-shard to the balls. There's no such thing as a fair fight.
I do trust him. But if I'm wrong, no one is going to be angrier about it than me.
[ It's a strange little anxiety. Kitty worries, suddenly, about the consequences if Flint turns on Gwen. She's...not really used to worries like that. ]
( 'he kept me company when all I could do was sit in bed sewing' paints one picture, and 'because a wyvern had fucked up my leg while I was getting supplies for an illicit attempt to undo Tranquility' another entirely. she says neither, though she thinks about it. )
Probably. Yeah.
But that's—I wouldn't make you be around him just because I trust him. You don't. Guilfoyle can be with you any time I'm not. Coupe pauses when he's in a room.
( a sort of verbal shrug— ) Whatever I ask him to.
He's a retired assassin who was my lord's gentleman, he did...everything. I've been trying to find him more relaxing work than he used to do, frankly, but bodyguarding is well within his remit.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 12:37 pm (UTC)I don't.
( she starts to write I don't know how I wasn't clear, and then scratches it out. tries again. )
What I meant to say was that since you and he aren't going to work together and since it was the other ambassador
( not byerly, she means )
who he'd directed you towards and who is going to be able to do more anyway, if you are going to give them to anyone, she seems like the sensible choice. Ishal. I wasn't saying you have to tell her anything, I was offering you my opinion of who your best option would be if you did want to tell someone.
When I said I think you'll prove each other wrong, I meant by being good at what you do.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 12:45 pm (UTC)This is absurd. I am likely going to end up imprisoned or worse so that I give out this information, and you speak of people that I might want to work with. 'Thranduil was stirring you up,' you say - have you ever considered the possibility, for just a single second, that it is actually you who is blind to the danger? I am not a little girl who is frightened of monsters under her bed. I have been fighting and killing and hiding for longer than you have. I have watched my comrades betrayed and slaughtered, torn to pieces, and I have been sentenced to death myself. So just once, for just a single moment, please just consider the idea that perhaps I am not a stupid little idiot but someone who knows something.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 12:59 pm (UTC)But as I was under the mistaken impression that occasionally what I have to say might be worth anything to you, I gave you my opinion. You engaged me in conversation so I gave it to you again. You aren't under any obligation to regard it, which I do not say to suggest that you need my permission when you've made it abundantly clear you never had any intention of considering that, but to make it clear I'm not saying it with the expectation that you owe me anything.
I've never thought you're an idiot. I don't have to think you're stupid to think you're wrong. I think Thranduil is wrong. I can think someone is mistaken and respect them. I am
( a delay. disappointed kitty can't?
what's the point in explaining herself to someone who has already decided what she is. )
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 01:03 pm (UTC)I did not want your advice. I wanted your help. I wanted you to help keep me safe. But I suppose that having Flint's approval is far more important than what I was asking.
crystal.
Date: 2019-10-21 01:07 pm (UTC)Why couldn't you have just told me that?
( there's so much frustration. )
Come and stay with us. Thranduil is enormous and does magic and I have a guard dog and an assassin. Guilfoyle can be with you all of the time. I promise you, if that's what you need, that's what I'll do. I thought—
I was trying to fix it. I'm sorry. I didn't know what you wanted me to do. I can do this.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 01:12 pm (UTC)an unexpected turn of events, to say the least. Kitty stares at the crystal a moment, then hesitantly picks it up, like it might burn her. ]
If Flint comes calling, though. Or any of the other department heads. How can I be sure that you won't...
[ Y'know. Do the thing that people you trust always seem to do. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 01:16 pm (UTC)Come and stay with us until all of this is resolved, however it's resolved. I promise you I will not let anything happen to you.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 01:19 pm (UTC)[ She swallows. Funny thing, how frightened she sounds. Especially since, y'know, this is pretty much exactly what she was asking for. ]
If...I - I, erm... [ She struggles a moment, then says, quite suddenly - ]
What is your relationship with Flint, even?
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 01:26 pm (UTC)( gwenaëlle has massive daddy issues that she doesn't know how to articulate?
she struggles, too, for a moment. 'friend' doesn't feel right, exactly. )
It's—avuncular. I've learned a lot from him, we talk about books and poetry and while he teaches me how to handle a sword. We do it a few times a week, most weeks—we've been using mine and Thranduil's bedroom, but while you're staying with us I won't have him there.
( she still trusts him, but kitty doesn't. it isn't any skin off gwenaëlle's nose to walk down the hall instead of having him come to her. )
He's taught me about sailing, and piracy, and politics. And I can finally challenge him a bit with the sword, but if he did turn on me it'd be an anchor-shard to the balls. There's no such thing as a fair fight.
I do trust him. But if I'm wrong, no one is going to be angrier about it than me.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-21 02:36 pm (UTC)[ It's a strange little anxiety. Kitty worries, suddenly, about the consequences if Flint turns on Gwen. She's...not really used to worries like that. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 11:10 am (UTC)Probably. Yeah.
But that's—I wouldn't make you be around him just because I trust him. You don't. Guilfoyle can be with you any time I'm not. Coupe pauses when he's in a room.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 12:01 pm (UTC)I don't think I know Coupe well enough for that to mean anything to me.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 10:00 pm (UTC)He's a retired assassin who was my lord's gentleman, he did...everything. I've been trying to find him more relaxing work than he used to do, frankly, but bodyguarding is well within his remit.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-22 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-24 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-25 07:40 am (UTC)