You asked me once if I had done as I did for the sake of witches—of mages—in Sulleciel. In what was my home. And we debated the precise...the semantics of what magic is and is not to one world and another. Of why that was not my motive, and indeed why it could not have been, but I did not answer the question that I think, that I presume lay behind it.
( why did she act as she had. and while it's a fair assessment that they had got somewhat derailed, it's also fair to say that petrana might not have ever intended to answer, regardless. on a day that had been a great deal of unwilling exposure already. )
I was put in mind of that conversation, recently. I wished to say, what I imagined was—
It was unusual for a woman to be educated the way that I was. A novelty, like watching a dog walk upon its hind legs. Amusing, but ultimately irrelevant. A man might better himself, but a woman might only hope to catch the eye of one who had. The structure had rot within it, but so long as there was someone else lower, who would risk burning it? If they might lose, and be crushed beneath it. A woman need not perform magic to be called a witch for the sin of opinion.
That was why. And when it had taken from me all that it could, I had no reason not to fight it. I was meant to be grateful that I might be an exception, that but for a living brother I might have been a dull flower set upon the sill of a dull man. But I was not remarkable, I was simply lucky, and how could I not see the unfairness in that? I did not deserve more by virtue. I was given it because I had no brother to come before me. What might any of us do, if we were a little luckier? I thought to find out. It betrayed the lie of the whole of it.
Magic did not free me. It was a choke-chain to control me, and until Thedas it was never more than that. But education is what allowed me to see what was wrong and think it need not always be. That in recognizing it I had a responsibility to act upon my knowledge. I fear I did not do enough, then. But that is one thing that I have learned from the past.
—this is doubtless a wearisome lecture. I thank you if you have listened to it.
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timeasmymeasure
crystal.
Date: 2019-11-13 08:36 am (UTC)( why did she act as she had. and while it's a fair assessment that they had got somewhat derailed, it's also fair to say that petrana might not have ever intended to answer, regardless. on a day that had been a great deal of unwilling exposure already. )
I was put in mind of that conversation, recently. I wished to say, what I imagined was—
It was unusual for a woman to be educated the way that I was. A novelty, like watching a dog walk upon its hind legs. Amusing, but ultimately irrelevant. A man might better himself, but a woman might only hope to catch the eye of one who had. The structure had rot within it, but so long as there was someone else lower, who would risk burning it? If they might lose, and be crushed beneath it. A woman need not perform magic to be called a witch for the sin of opinion.
That was why. And when it had taken from me all that it could, I had no reason not to fight it. I was meant to be grateful that I might be an exception, that but for a living brother I might have been a dull flower set upon the sill of a dull man. But I was not remarkable, I was simply lucky, and how could I not see the unfairness in that? I did not deserve more by virtue. I was given it because I had no brother to come before me. What might any of us do, if we were a little luckier? I thought to find out. It betrayed the lie of the whole of it.
Magic did not free me. It was a choke-chain to control me, and until Thedas it was never more than that. But education is what allowed me to see what was wrong and think it need not always be. That in recognizing it I had a responsibility to act upon my knowledge. I fear I did not do enough, then. But that is one thing that I have learned from the past.
—this is doubtless a wearisome lecture. I thank you if you have listened to it.